


42: A Poe Dameron Love Story

by H_V_Hart



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Action & Romance, Crossover, F/M, Original Character Death(s), Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 14,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28886400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/H_V_Hart/pseuds/H_V_Hart
Summary: 42. That was her number. Now with the resistance, 42 must cover her past life which proves difficult when she cannot tell her true name. And that Dameron guy . . . He needs to stop asking questions.Follows The Rise of SkywalkerCompleted
Relationships: Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Poe Dameron/OC, Poe Dameron/Original Female Character(s), Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This story follows the characters from the newest Star Wars trilogy. It contains spoilers for _The Rise of Skywalker_ as well as Mandalorian lore. Enjoy!  
\- H. 

_Transmission incoming,_ the intercom blurbed.   
It was from a masked source on the planet Ajan Kloss.

I put my ship in autopilot as I floated outside of the Kessel System.

I didn't have time for this. I was on a job.

My curiosity got the better of me. I accepted the transmission.

"42 speaking," I said.

"Hello, I am calling to inform you that Kaliana Gledliss has passed."

It was the voice of a droid. They didn't have the courtesy of telling me in a _living_ voice.

"How?" I asked harshly.

"Her X-Wing was shot down while fighting for the Resistance. I'm sorry."

A droid, sorry? I didn't think so.

"The Resistance offers our condolenc—"

I hung up.

With angry tears streaming down my face beneath my mask, I threw my ship into gear and blasted down towards the orange planet below.

I didn't get to say goodbye . . . Kaliana. She was like a sister to me. Always trying to do the right thing. Always kindhearted. Ripped from the world like a frail piece of fabric.

I cursed. "Pull yourself together," I scolded myself. "Finish the job. Mourn later. Or never. That's good too."

***

When you're trained in the ways of the Mandalorian, finishing bounty-hunting jobs is easy.

With the fugitive's corpse in tow, I marched back onto my ship, placing the lifeless sack off to the side.

As I powered on my ship, a new message appeared. It was from that same planet that the droid had called from.

_The funeral for Ms. Gledliss will be tomorrow on the planet Ajan Kloss. Coordinates posted below._

I sighed.

I knew I would feel bad later if I didn't go. Kaliana didn't have any family. She most likely listed me as her only contact. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't dishonor her in such a way.

 _I'm going,_ I decided.

But first I had to get my reward.

***

Trying to drag a corpse across a sand-filled planet isn't exactly my favorite way to spend an afternoon. Trying to take it through a bustling town may be even worse. But the reward sure made up for it.

With pockets full, I got back on my ship and plugged in the coordinates.

The planet of Ajan Kloss was a vast ecosystem entirely made of jungle. The forest was dense with greenery. I thought I wouldn't be able to find this place.

As I neared the coordinates, I spotted an opening. A fleet of X-Wings lay covered in leaves to conceal them. Men and women rushed about in orange beneath the trees.

A transmission came over my intercom.   
_You've entered a restricted area. State your business or be terminated._

I picked up my mic. "I'm here for a funeral. Kaliana Gledliss."

_Prepare for landing. We'll send someone out to wave you in._

As I exited my ship, a man came to greet me. I threw my rifle onto my back and stepped down the rap. I could tell by the look on his face that they rarely saw Mandalorian around these parts.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "The funeral services are happening over here. I-I'm sorry for your loss."

I remained silent.

As I walked through the Resistance Base, there were evident whispers about the Mando that had walked into their space.

The bodies of the fallen we laid in neat rows, covered with a dull cloth. Their dog tags were laid next to them.

"Last name?" asked the man.

"Gledliss."

They had arranged them in alphabetical order.

Kaliana was still just as small as I remembered. 

I pulled a blue flower from my satchel that I had picked up on my travels. I gingerly placed it on her chest.

The man who'd escorted me watched silently. I wanted to snap at him. Why was he still here?

"Why are you still here?" I asked.

"General Leia has asked to see you."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: big spoilers for _The Rise of Skywalker_ ahead, now and forever. 

_ General Leia _

_ _

When I heard a Mandalorian had landed on my base, I had to see for myself.

As the shining amor emerged from the orange crowd, I could see this Mandalorian was female.

The pilots who'd been talking and messing around grew quiet. They stared at her and whispered. It was rather rude but I assumed she gets that a lot.

"General Leia," a lieutenant announced. He saluted then brought the Mandalorian forward.

"That will be all, thank you," I said.   
I outstretched a hand in greeting. "General Leia Organa of the Resistance."

"42," the helmet said.   
She shook my hand firmly.

"42, you must know how rare it is for us to come into contact with a Mandalorian."

She remained silent.

"After our last battle, we lost so many lives, including our Vice Admiral, Amilyn Holdo . . . What I'm getting at is we could really use your help."

"What kind of help," asked the Mandalorian.

"Any. Information, coordinates, even training our troops in your ways to better protect themselves," I said. "It would be a great help and deed to the Resistance."

42 shifted her weight. Other than that, she was hard to read.

"I know it's a lot to ask," I continued. "But if you could just stay for one night. We'll be entombing the fallen at dusk. Perhaps you can give us something prior to then. You get around more than anyone here after all."

"I'll think about it—"

"General! General!" called a familiar voice.

"What now, Dameron?" I wheeled around.

"It's, oh . . ." Poe stopped in his tracks as he saw the Mandalorian.

"Well, is this urgent?" I pressed.

"Yes!" he remembered. "We've got the message."

***

_ 42 _

It was now dusk.

The funeral was over.

That Dameron guy the General has seemed annoyed with was now giving a speech to the troops.

"We've decoded the intel from the First Order spy. And it confirms the worst." Dameron sighed. "Somehow Palpatine has returned.

Nervous whispers broke out amongst the pilots.

"It cannot be."  
"The Emperor is dead!"  
"Dark sciences . . . Cloning. Secrets only the Sith knew."

Dameron continued. "He's been planning his revenge. His followers have been building something big for years. The largest fleet the galaxy's ever known. He calls it the Final Order. In sixteen hours, attacks on all free worlds begin. The Emperor and his fleet are hiding in an unknown world—called Exegol."

"Exegol does not appear on any star chart," said a droid. "The legend describes it as the hidden world of the Sith."

"So Palpatine's been out there all this time," said Dameron, "pulling the strings."

"Always in the shadows from the very beginning," Leia whispered.

The General looked to me. I understood why they needed my help.

"Here's the information you wanted," I began. The whole group fell dead silent. "You need a Sith Wayfinder to get to Exegol. Unfortunately, they're hard to come by. Probably only two or three in existence now."

"General, can I speak with you?" a girl piped up. She held a large leather-bound book.

They went off to talk in private.

I stood still amongst the pilots, waiting. Until that Dameron guy approached me.

"How'd you know about the Wayfinder?" he asked curiously.

"I get around."

"Are you going to be staying here? With the Resistance?"

"Not sure."

"Well, do you want to tag along?"   
Dameron pointed to a pancake-like ship that the girl, another man, and a wookie were boarding. 

"Let me get my gun," I decided.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm going to pick up Luke's search for a Exegol," the girl in white said to Dameron. "I'm going to start where his trail went cold. The forbidden desert of Pasaana."

"Yeah, I know," said Dameron. "We're going with you."

He threw a thumb behind himself. Another man, a golden droid, and I began boarding the ship.

"I need to go alone," the girl protested to the other man. She stopped him from boarding.

"Yeah, alone with friends," said the man.

"It's too dangerous, Finn."

"We go together," he insisted. "But uh—" Finn now leaned over to Dameron. "Why's she coming?" he whispered a little too loudly.

He was talking about me.

"I invited her. We could use the extra help," Dameron insisted.

Finn looked me over. He was rightfully suspicious.

I was allowed to board the ship. The five of us plus the two droids sat in the cockpit.

Poe was flying. The wookie was the co-pilot. Finn, the girl, and I sat behind them.

I had never been this demoted.

As we reached a lull in the journey, Dameron decided to play twenty questions. Only, he was the one asking every question.

"So," the pilot began. "Where you from?"

"That's classified," I said firmly.

"Hmmph . . . Do you want us to call you 42 or . . . do you have another name?"

"42 is fine."

"What does that mean, anyway?"

"Poe—" Finn warned.

"It's my number," I said. "The 42nd Mandalorian."

"Uh huh . . . 3-PO," Poe called to the gold droid. "Got any info on Mandos?"

"Well, sir, there isn't much information anywhere on the Mandalorian," the droid began. "Their planet is unknown, their numbers are unknown, and there is little known about their society."

"This is the way," I mumbled.

"Except that," said 3-PO.

"What?" asked the collective.

"The Mandalorian's slogan or moral they live under is the phrase 'this is the way.' Other than that, there is little public knowledge," the droid rambled.

"Well, we know there's at least 42 of them," Finn figured.

The girl slammed her fist on her chair. "You all are being rude," she said firmly.

The men shut up real fast.

"We never even introduced ourselves. My name's Rey."

She outstretched a hand. I took it.

"Name's Poe," said Poe.

"Finn." We shook hands.

The wookie up front let out a call.

"That is Chewbacca, but the others call him Chewy," the droid chirped. "I am C3-PO." 

"Pleasure," I said.

"So, 42 are you going to be joining the Resistance?" Rey asked.

"The Mandalorian don't pick sides," I explained "I was just here for a funeral. I'm looking for some work next."

"Well, there's plenty of work around the Base," said Poe.

"Yes, but does it pay . . ." I said.

"I mean, you get a salary," said Dameron. "But most aren't in it for the money. They're in it for the cause."

He grew quiet.

"Is it true you never take off your helmet?" Poe said suddenly.

"Poe!" Rey scolded.

"What?"

This was going to be a long ride.

***

As we got off the ship and stepped into the hot sun of Pasaana, Rey pulled me aside.

"I cannot believe he asked you that," she said.

"It's okay," I began. "I get that more than you'd think."

"You sure this is it?" Poe asked at the front of the group.

"These are the exact coordinates Master Luke left behind," confirmed C3-PO.

As we rounded the corner of a large rock, we were met with the sounds of cheering and celebration.

"What's this?" asked Finn.

"The Aki-Aki celebration of the ancestors!" 3-PO exclaimed. "This festival only occurs once every forty-two years."

"How lucky," said Poe.

 _How ironic,_ I thought.

As we waded through the crowd of revelers, I couldn't help but smile beneath my helmet.


	4. Chapter 4

"I've never seen anything like this," Rey smiled at the crowd of Aki-Aki dancing in synchronicity.

"I've never seen so few Wayfinders," Poe said, pushing past her.

Rey waited until he was out of earshot. "He's just upset with himself for what he said. Although I don't think he'll apologize."

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

"He might," I finally said.

"There's always random First Order patrols in crowds like these," said Finn.

"Keep your heads down—Chewy," said Poe. "Let's split up, see what the locals know."

Twenty minutes later, Rey came sprinting back to the group. She looked panicked.

"We have to go, back to the Falcon, now," she said hurriedly.

"Why?" asked Finn.

"It's Ren."

I had no idea who "Ren" was, but it made everybody book it across the desert.

I already didn't like him.

A stormtrooper suddenly blocked out path. " _Halt!_ I've located the Resistance fugitives," he shouted into his intercom. "All units—" an arrow sprouted from his helmet, knocking him backward.

We turned to see who'd shot him.

"Follow me," said the stranger.

Just feet away was a rolling ship with its wares tied to the outside. It crawled across the sand at a low speed amongst the crowd.

We lifted the curtain and stepped in after the stranger.

"Leia sent me a transmission," the man said.

"How'd you find us?" Finn asked.

He removed his helmet to reveal his face. He was an older gentleman with dark graying hair and traces of a mustache. His face was kind unlike so many I'd met.

"Wookies stand out in a crowd!" he laughed.

Chewbacca stepped forward and hugged him.

"Good to see you too, old buddy," said the man.

"This is General Lando Calrissian," C3-PO announced.

"General Calrissian, we're looking for Exegol," said Poe.

"Of course you are . . ."

He pulled up a hologram of a Wayfinder. The blue pyramid floated above his wrist in an eerie light.

"Only two remain," said Calrissian.

I had been correct on that part.

"The Sith Wayfinder. Luke Skywalker came here to find one," Rey recalled.

"I know," Calrissian chuckled. "I was with him. Luke and I were tailing an old Jedi hunter, by the name of Ochi."

Rey turned to Finn in astonishment.

"He was carrying a clue that could lead to a Wayfinder," Calrissian explained. "We followed the ship halfway across the galaxy, here. When we got to his ship, it was abandoned. No clue. No Wayfinder."

"Is the ship still here?" Rey asked.

"It's out in the desert where he left it."

I looked to Rey. "We need to get to that ship; search it again," I decided.

The sound of a faint whirring began across the desert. It grew louder, louder, louder. The lot of us looked out of the window instinctually.

Six TIE fighters were barreling down into the planet's atmosphere.

"I got a bad feeling about this," Calrissian mumbled. "The ship is out past Lurch's Canyon, go!"

"Thank you, General," Poe said as he exited the hut.

Rey stopped, thinking. "Leia, needs pilots, General," she said.

"My flying days are long gone," said Calrissian. "But do me a favor . . . Give Leia my love."

"You should give it to her yourself." Rey smiled. "Thank you."

I exited after her.

When Rey and I had caught up with the group, Poe was already underneath a speeder, hotwiring it.

"How do you know how to do that?" Finn asked suspiciously.

I began hotwiring a second speeder.

Angry locals came running after us. They were probably shouting profanities. 

"We gotta go!" Poe said, getting his speeder up and running.

I had already finished wiring my speeder before Poe had even slid out from beneath his.

As Dameron mounted the craft, he smirked sourly at my record time. "Show off," he mumbled.


	5. Chapter 5

We had barely left the festival when stormtroopers started firing at us.

I was thankful I had grabbed my gun before I'd left the Resistance Base.

Rey turned around and fired her pistol at the troopers. It hardly did any damage at such a range.

Two of the stormtroopers began to fly from the back of their speeders, propelled upward with jetpacks.

"They fly now?" Finn yelled.

"They fly now!" Poe shouted, panicked.

I pulled my rifle off of my back and fired once upwards. One trooper came crashing down.

The remaining stormtroopers began firing in front of our speeders, kicking up sand and making it difficult for all of us to see.

Poe turned his speeder down a narrow rocky passageway. I turned and followed suit.

Our speeders raced in tandem between the narrow walls of sandstone. I turned around for a second to see if the troopers were still following but couldn't get a clear view.

"Did we lose them?" I called.

"Looks like it," Finn yelled.

"Excellent job, sir!" C3-PO exclaimed.

Another stormtrooper emerged from behind a boulder.

"Terrible job, sir!" the droid scolded.

From the back of my speeder, BB-8 activated a color-dust bomb. It sent up a puff of golden powder, blinding the trooper on our tail. He ran his speeder up over a rock, sending himself sailing into the air. Rey took out her pistol and fired up at the underside of the craft. The whole thing came crashing down in a firey cloud behind us.

"Nice one, Rey!" Finn called.

One trooper was left.

Finn launched a rope at him. It began to wrap around the wheel of the speeder, hooking the stormtrooper like a fish.

"Poe!" Finn yelled.

Poe banked his speeder sending the captured trooper and his craft into the cliff face. The men cheered at their small victory.

An abandoned ship appeared on the edge of a cliff. Sand covered most of its windows giving it camouflage. As we flew closer to the desired target, Rey mumbled something about the ship.

"What did you say?" I asked.

In the second that I'd turned around, the remaining flying trooper had shot our speeder, sending the lot of us toppling head over heels.

Luckily, this planet was made of sand so the fall wasn't excruciatingly painful. Unfortunately for us, we had landed in quicksand.

As we sunk down into the earth, I felt my feet become free.

I also felt my helmet begin to slip off as I was pulled under which prompted me to begin cursing.

"Cover your eyes!" I yelled once my mouth was free beneath the surface.  
  


***

_ Poe _

"Did she just say to cover my eyes?" I thought aloud.

As the Mando slipped through the dirt, she wasn't wearing her helmet.

I couldn't possibly cover my eyes now.

She looked like a wild bird. For a split second, her eyes met mine. They were the color of an ocean against a white sand beach, but much more dangerous. She held her fist up threateningly.

"Right!" I slapped my hand over my eyes, still trying to remember her appearance.

Her skin was rather tan for the amount of time she must have spent beneath her helmet. Her rust-colored hair was braided loosely. The strands curled around her face in a disheveled manner. Her eyes were piercing, fierce, tough as the Falcon . . . beautiful.

I scolded myself mentally. I couldn't fall for her. I didn't know why but I just couldn't.

"You can open them now," she said softly.

I stood, still staring.

"Close your mouth, Dameron. You'll catch flies," 42 said sharply.

I exhaled a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Poe!" Finn called in another section of the tunnel. "You over there?"

" _Not a word about this_ ," the Mandalorian warned.

I nodded. "Yeah, we're over here!" I called back.

The rest of the group rounded the corner to meet us.

"Let's find the way out," I said.


	6. Chapter 6

_ 42 _

Rey activated her lightsaber and began marching through the tunnel.

I gritted my teeth in anger with myself. I had broken the Mandalorian code. But it was only one person, I tried to reason . . . I scolded myself mentally. I couldn't show my face to any living thing. That was the rule and I had broken it. It had been an accident, of course.

But what was I to do? Kill Dameron? I didn't think I could bring myself to do so, especially in front of his friends.

I sighed beneath my helmet, conflicted.

"You okay, 42?" Rey asked.

"Yeah," I lied. "I fell on my arm wrong, that's all."

Poe looked over to me.

I glared at him sharply from behind my visor.

His head snapped back to look forward quickly. He continued without a word.

So, maybe I could trust him . . .

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?" Rey began softly. She was talking to Finn ahead of Poe and I.

"When?" Finn asked.

"When you were sinking in the sand, you said, 'I never told you—' Rey trailed off.

My head must have been under the sand for that part.

"I'll tell you later," said Finn.

"You mean when Poe's not here?" Poe butt in.

"Yep, mhmm," Finn mumbled, annoyed.

Rey pushed past the men's bickering.

"So we're going to die in the sand burrows and we're all keeping secrets?" Poe grumbled. He moved on down the tunnel.

"I'll tell you when you tell us about all the shifty stuff you do!" Finn pushed.

Poe rolled his eyes and pressed on.

"I do not want to know what made these tunnels," Dameron said, shining his light onto a branching cave.

"Well," C3-PO began. "Judging by the circumference of the walls—"

"I said I do _not_ want to know. _Not_ ," Poe repeated, irritated. "What's that?" he said suddenly. He moved his light over to something buried in the sand.

"A speeder?" Finn guessed.

"An old one," Rey confirmed.

"Perhaps we'll find the driver," I said. I brushed off the hood. Upon the front of the speeder was an emblem I recognized. "The hex charm," I announced, pointing to it.

"What is it?" Rey asked.

"A common emblem of the Sith loyalists," I explained.

This meant only one thing: we were screwed.

I did not deal with the Sith. They've always spelled bad news for the Madalorian. They think they can get us to work for them, bribe us into siding with them. And if you didn't comply, they removed your helmet to dishonor you before killing you.

"This was Ochi's?" asked Finn.

"Luke sensed it," Rey began. "Ochi never left this place."

"And he ended up down here?" I asked.

"He was headed for his ship," Poe began. "Same thing that happened to us happened to him."

"So how did Ochi get out?" asked Finn.

"He didn't," said Rey. Her eyes grew wide at the sight in the sand before her.

Ochi's remains. Untouched, now just bones. Covered in sand.

"Bones—I don't like bones," Poe gulped.

 _What a baby_.

Rey stooped down and picked up something in the sand. It appeared to be an old dagger.

"Horrible things . . . have happened with this," she breathed.

"I was riding on it," Poe said sarcastically. He crossed his arms and turned away from the pile.

"Perhaps I can translate?" said 3-PO. "Oh, the location of the Wayfinder has been inscribed on this dagger! It was the clue Master Luke was looking for."

"Okay, where's the Wayfinder?" I asked.

"I'm afraid I cannot tell you," said the droid.

"What? Twenty-three _bazillion_ languages and you can't read that?" Poe countered.

"Oh I can read it, sir," 3-PO said. "I know exactly where the Wayfinder is. Unfortunately it is written in the runic language of the Sith."

"So what?" Rey argued.

"My programming forbids me from translating it."

I never have wanted to punch a droid more in my life.


	7. Chapter 7

"I am mechanically incapable of speaking Sith translations," 3-PO protested. "I believe the rule was first passed when . . ."

A snake-like entity emerged from the darkness of the tunnel and rose to its full height. The worm towered above us, its teeth barred.

It let out a roar causing the lot of us to take cover behind Rey.

"Serpent! Serpent! Serpent!" 3-PO yelled.

I cocked my rifle and took aim. Poe raised his pistol.

Rey, as if entranced by the snake, put her hand over the barrel of my gun and lowered it. I looked at her like she was crazy. Rey then lowered Poe's pistol and Finn's blaster. She passed Finn her lightsaber then moved forward towards the creature.

"Rey . . ." Finn breathed nervously.

The creature hissed as Rey came nearer. She stepped over one of its coils delicately.

" _I'm gonna blast it_ ," Poe whispered dangerously. He aimed his pistol at the snake, trying to keep his hand from shaking.

" _Don't blast it_ ," Finn warned.

Rey now knelt down and touched her palm to the creature. She was _healing_ it.

The snake blinked as if in thanks then moved back down the tunnel, the last of its armored tail disappearing. It knocked down a wall of sand allowing light to flood the tunnel for the first time perhaps in a long time.

BB-8 rolled over and chirped at the girl.

"I just transferred a bit of life . . . Force energy from me to him," Rey explained to the little droid.

We emerged into the heat of the day, taking the Sith dagger with us.

Rey looked out across the desert.

I could hear the faintest sound of a ship echo over the canyon walls. It sounded like a TIE. Whatever it was, it was moving closer at a rapid speed.

I decided to go inside Ochi's ship and assumed Rey would be following.

Poe sat at the wheel, flipping switches and dusting things off. He noticed Rey through the the window.

"What is she doing?" Dameron mumbled. "Where the hell's Chewy?"

I shrugged.

The sound of the TIE was now right on us.

"It's Ren," Finn realized and ran out of the ship.

Through the window, I saw Rey activate her lightsaber.

Still nobody had explained to me who this Ren was. I decided to go see for myself.

"42," Poe caught me on the shoulder before I could leave. He looked me so set in the eyes that for a moment I thought he could see through my visor.   
"Be careful."

I shrugged his hand off and continued outside.

Rey took a stance, shoving her foot backwards and her hand down into the sand. She looked like she was going to run.

The TIE was now a few seconds away.

She began sprinting at full speed.

"Hey! Now is not the time to be 'playing chicken' with a TIE!" I yelled out to her.

Rey kept running, her ignited saber waving wildly in her hand.

The TIE was coming in so low it began skimming the sand.

 _She's going to get herself killed_ , I thought.

At the last moment, she jumped. Rey went sailing over the TIE as it barreled under her.

Using her saber, she sliced off one wing, then gracefully flipped back over and landed in a kneel.

"Holy—" I breathed.

The TIE came crashing down. Both wings now detached and the pilot's cab rolled out across the desert. It ended at an exposed rock where it exploded in a grandiose display of fire.

Finn came running out into the open. "Rey! Rey!" He pointed to a ship taking off. "They got Chewy!"

Rey held out her hand, concentrating. The ship that had been taking off stopped in its path, pulled by an unseen force.

Along the horizon, a dark cloaked figure emerged from the TIE crash. I could only assume this was infamous "Ren" they all had been talking about.

He too outstretched a hand towards the ship. But Ren was pushing the ship away.

I'd had enough of these Jedi tricks or whatever you want to calm them. I cocked my rifle in Ren's direction, taking aim towards his foot so he'd loose his grip on the ship.

I didn't know if my acquaintances would want him alive or not.

I pulled the trigger.

For a moment, the blast from my rifle remained suspended in midair just feet from my gun. Ren had his grip on not only the ship but the blast too. With a flick of his wrist, he sent the shot back in my direction.

The blast was hot as it hit me; it grazed right past the side of my neck.

As the pain hit me, the rifle fell from my hands.

Warmth began to trickle down my neck.

I dropped to my knees.

The world was looking rather black now.


	8. Chapter 8

_ Poe _

"No, no, no!" I watched as 42 crumpled to her knees then fell forwards. Ren rarely missed.

"3-PO, man the ship!" I yelled to the droid before running out.

I sprinted across the desert sand and ran into Finn.

"C'mon, we gotta get her back to the ship!" I said quickly. "Help me get her."

Rey and Kylo fought for force control of the launching ship before my eyes. They did not care about me and Finn behind them.

We dragged 42 under the arms across the sand and back into the ship.

With all that armor, you'd think she'd be heavy. She was so light. Now gripping her by an unarmored portion of her arm, I realized how skinny she was. I remembered how Madalorians rarely took of their helmets even to eat. It was no life to live.

I grabbed what looked to be an old med kit and dusted it off. There was little inside to help other than some burn gel.

" _Agh_ . . ." I grunted. I wished we had the Falcon.

I turned her limp head to see the wound.

"I think we need to take off the helmet," I mumbled.

"I was afraid you'd say that," said Finn.

I had an idea. "Well how about I just take off the helmet and you don't have to see her face. That way, only one of us does and she won't be as mad?"

Finn looked at me skeptically.

"Ah, you're right," I said. "She's going to be mad either way."

I carefully took the helmet by the sides and lifted it. It was practically stuck in her neck wound.

"That does not look good," Finn mumbled.

" _Not helping!_ " I said through gritted teeth. "What about Rey? Can't she do the force thing?"

"She looks busy—" Finn trailed off. He looked out the ship door in awe. The ship Rey and Ren had been fighting over came crashing down. " _Chewy . . ._ "

"Not him too!"   
I was close to tears; everything was falling apart.

Rey was now walking back to the ship in a dazed horror.

I slid of the Madalorian's helmet, her braid unfurling in the process.

42's teal eyes were open, unblinking. I thought for a moment she was conscious. Then I waved my hand over her face, realizing they were glass-like and dull.

"C'mon, c'mon," I pleaded. "Not here, not now." I pulled her body into my lap.

Rey entered the ship, her mouth open in shock.

"Can't you do something?" I began, looking down at the extent of the wound.

Rey knelt down, soft tears falling from her face. She placed a hand over 42's bloodied neck and concentrated. The wound began to heal as pieces of skin crawled back together.

42 did not stir.

Rey finished healing. "I'm sorry, that's all I can do . . ." She stopped her sentence.

42's fingers had twitched.

"Yes, that's it," I said, a little hope creeping into my chest. I caressed the side of her face with my callused palm.

"Poe, she's—" Rey began softly.

Finn and Rey watched on with tears in their eyes.

"No! She can't be!" I protested. I held her limp body in my hands.

I hoisted 42 closer, putting an ear to her chest. I couldn't hear anything because of the dense armor. "Help me get her armor off," I said and began working desperately to remove the chest piece.

"Poe," Finn started.

"C'mon, help me out here," I said.

"Poe—" Finn pressed again.

I wasn't listening.

"Poe!"

" _What?_ " I answered finally.

"Buddy, look at her," Finn started softly. "She's gone." He put a hand on my shoulder.

My hands faltered, then removed her chest plate. The metal piece hit the floor with a reverent thud.

Her teal eyes remained glassy.

"But I thought I saw her hand—" I sighed. They were right.

Rey knelt down next to me and put a comforting hand on my back.   
She slid her fingers over those ocean-blue eyes, shutting them.


	9. Chapter 9

I turned to look at Rey. "Are you sure you can't do anything?"

She shook her head somberly.

In one last futile attempt, I put my head to 42's chest, listening.

 _Thump . . . thump . . . thump_.

"She's alive!" I realized.

"Poe—" Finn began again.

"No, _really!_ " I insisted. "Look, look." 42's chest began to rise and fall shallowly. I pulled her unconscious body into a hug. "She's going to make it," I breathed softly, running my fingers through her hair. "She has to."

I studied her slackened face. She was beautiful.

"Kai is still really hurt," I said just above a whisper as not to disturb her. "I know a place—"

"Kai?" Rey stopped me.

"What?"

"You said Kai, who's Kai?"

 _Uh oh_.

"She told you her name, didn't she?" Rey pressed.

"No—"

"What? Then how'd you know?" Finn joined in.

"I just know!" I huffed. "Kai—she was my friend, a long time ago. On my home planet, Yavin 4, we spent a lot of time together as kids . . . She probably doesn't even remember me . . . I don't know what the Mandalorian do to past memories if any, but it was just so long ago." My voice trailed off.

"You like her, don't you," Finn said, though it was more of a statement and less of a question.

"Finn!" Rey scolded.

"No . . . He's right." I sighed. "But she'll probably hate me for taking off her helmet. So I guess my chances are kaput."

"Poe, you saved her life," Finn began.

"No. Rey saved her life," I said softly. I stood and set Kai down gently. Then, I pulled off my scarf, balled it up, and placed it beneath her head.

"We gotta go," I said, moving towards the cockpit. "More TIEs will be on us soon."

"Are you sure you want to fly?" asked Rey. "I can, and you can stay with her?" she offered.

"Yeah," I decided, "that'd be nice. Thank you Rey, thank you both."

The three of us embraced.

  
***

"Alright," I began.

We stood in Ochi's ship as it floated in space, hidden in an asteroid belt. 42 was still resting against the cold floor.

"We got eight hours left. So what're we gonna do?"

"What can we do? We gotta go back to base," Finn said.

"We don't have time to go back to base. We are not giving up," I stated firmly. "If we do that, Chewy died for nothing."

"Chewy has the dagger," Finn remembered.

"Well then we gotta find another way."

"Well, there isn't," he argued. "That was the only clue to the Wayfinder thing and it's gone."

"It's true," 3-PO began. "The inscription lives only in my memory now."

"Hold on," I began, turning to the droid. "The inscription that was on the dagger is in your memory?"

"Yes, Master Poe," said 3-PO. "But the translation from a forbidden language can not be retrieved. That is short from a complete redacted memory wipe loss."

"A complete _what?_ " Finn pressed.

"It's a terribly dangerous and sinful act performed on unwitting droids by drakes and criminals," 3-PO rambled.

"Let's do that!" Finn decided.

The droid turned objectively.

"I know a black market droid-smith," I remembered.

"Black market droid-smith?" 3-PO protested.

"But he's on Kijimi," I finished.

"What's wrong with Kijimi?" asked Finn.

"I had a little bad luck there," I said. "But if this mission fails, it's all been for nothing. All we've done, all this time."

Finn stood. "We're all in this til then end." He looked to Rey.

She stood slowly to join him.

"For Chewy," Finn said.

"For Kai," said Rey, looking to me.

We joined hands.

"Kijimi," I decided, squeezing firmly.


	10. Chapter 10

It was night as our ship made its decent onto Kijimi.

"We gotta get Kai's armor off," I said suddenly.

"Why?" Rey asked.

"This planet is full of thieves and bounty hunters. If she wears her Mandalorian out there, she's gonna have a big target in her back. She's not in any state to fight back either."

I watched Kai as her chest gently rose and fell.

"I'm going to have to carry her," I realized.

I took my scarf that I had placed underneath her head as a pillow and wrapped it around her face for her dignity's sake.

Then, I took her armor pieces and threw them into a bag. I wasn't about to leave them on the ship, but they couldn't be out in the open either.

I attempted to hoist an unconscious Kai and her sack of armor over my shoulder.

"Here," Finn offered, taking the bag from me.

I threw my cloak around Kai and myself to disguise her body.

"Let's go," I said, pulling up my hood.

As we stepped out onto the snow covered planet, I realized the city was crawling with various Stormtroopers.

 _Just my luck_ . . .

"They're everywhere," I said to Finn and Rey as we crouched behind a corner. "Alright, I know what we should do—"

"So do I. We should leave!" the droid protested.

" _Clam it,_ 3-PO," I scolded.

I felt Kai's hand ever so softly grip my shoulder.

"Follow me," I decided. We moved down another street.

"Alright—" My sentence was cut off by the familiar feeling of a blaster to my temple.

"Heard you were spotted at Monk's Gate," said a robotic female voice. "Thought: he's not stupid enough to come back here."

"Oh, you'd be surprised," I said nervously.

"Who's this?" Rey pressed.

"Guys, this is Zorii. Zorii, this is Finn and Rey, and Kai," I said shifting the Mando's dead weight on my shoulder. Her feet still dangled limply.

"I could pull this trigger right now," Zorii continued.

"I've seen you do worse," I began.

"For a lot less," Zorii spat.

"Can we just . . . Talk about this?" I asked cautiously, my eyes flitting down to Kai on my shoulder.

Zorii still didn't lower her blaster.

"She needs help, Zorii," I said.

"I want to see your brains in the snow," Zorii growled.

"You're still mad?" I guessed. "We still could use your help. We need to crack this droid's head open and fast," I said.

"Pardon me!" 3-PO objected.

"We're trying to find Babu Frik."

"Babu?" Zorii began. "Babu only works for the Crew. That's not you any more."

"What Crew?" Rey asked.

"Funny he never mentioned it?" Zorii continued. "Your friend's old job was running spice."

"You were a spice runner?" Finn asked.

"You were a stormtrooper?" I countered.

"You were a spice runner?" Rey pressed again.

"You were a scavenger?" I retorted. "We could do this all night."

"You don't have all night," Zorii said, stepping closer with her blaster raised. "You know I'm still digging out of the hole you put me in when you left to join the Resistance." Zorii moved around our group, then looked to Rey. "You. You're the one they're looking for. Bounty for her just might cover us . . . _Jacanka!"_ she ordered.

"No _jacanka!"_ I said.

As the Crew took aim, Rey whipped out her staff. She smacked down their guns in an instant. Zorii took aim at her.

Rey ignited her lightsaber.

"We could really use your help. Please," Rey said.

"Not that you care," began Zorii. "But I think you're okay."

"I care," said Rey. She disengaged her lightsaber and helped Zorii to her feet.


	11. Chapter 11

_Poe_  
We followed Zorii into a bar then into a back room.

"You can put your friend down here," Zorii said, gesturing to an empty sofa.

The cushions looked rather dirty with bits of machine grease and oil smeared onto them. But hey, it was better than the floor.

I threw off my cloak, lowered Kai off of my shoulder and onto the sofa. She was so lightweight without all that armor.

I kneeled down next to her as mechanics began working on 3-PO. My scarf was still wrapped around her face to protect her identity.

I gently pulled the fabric from her face.

Piercing blue eyes met mine.

A tanned hand grabbed my wrist, the scarf still in my grasp.

"You're awake," I realized.

"Where is my helmet?" Kai whispered harshly.

"I have it, I have all of it," I assured her. "Finn." I gestured for him to bring her bag of armor over. "We had to take it off so Rey could heal you," I explained.

"Did you see my face?" Kai now turned to Finn.

"No—" Finn lied poorly.

"You did," Kai stated. She took a deep breath. "Did Rey?"

"No—" I began.

"She did too," Kai figured. She could see right through us.

Finn produced her helmet from the bag. "Here, you can still put it back on."

Kai shook her head. "I can't. Don't you understand? Once a Mandalorian is seen by a living being . . ." Her voice cracked. "They can't put it back on."

"Kai—" I began, trying to take her hand.

"What did you just call me?" she recoiled.

I looked to Finn for guidance. He knew I had just messed up _royally_.

"Who are you hanging out with that speaks Sith?" Zorii called across the room. She saved my rear once more.

"Can you make him," I stood from Kai's side. "Babu, can you make him translate it?"

Babu rambled something off.

"Yes," Zorii translated. "But it will cause—"

"A complete memory wipe," 3-PO finished.

"Wait, wait, wait," I began. "If we make him translate it, he won't remember anything?"

"Doesn't R-2 back up your memory?" Finn asked.

"Oh, please," the droid began. "R-2's memory storage units are famously unreliable."

"You know the odds better than any of us," Rey started. "Do we have a choice?"

"If this mission fails," 3-PO stood, his head still attached to various wires. "It was all for nothing . . . What we've done, all this time." His voice trailed off as he turned around.

"What're you doing there, 3-PO?" I asked.

"Taking one last look . . . at my friends."

A blue light rolled in through the ceiling.

"Night raids are going to start soon," Zorii said.

"I'm coming with you," I said.

Zorii laughed and continued moving. "You still don't trust me, huh?"

"You ever trust me?" I countered.

"Nope."

I followed her upstairs to the roof.

Soft footsteps followed up the stairs behind me.

I turned around.

"Kai—I mean, 42," I began, mentally slapping myself.

She wasn't wearing her helmet. Her curly hair was no longer in a braid. Her blue eyes looks glassy as if she'd been crying. She lifted her foot onto another stair just as I had noticed her.

Kai's eyes caught mine.

Her slightly open mouth closed, her jaw clenched, and she turned back down the stairs.


	12. Chapter 12

_ Kai _

I watched as Poe and some other lady turn and go up the stairs. They appeared to be old friends the way they bickered.

I didn't care.

I was busy trying to get used to seeing the world without my helmet.

I slowly shuffled over to where Rey and Finn were crowded around the little creature named Babu was working on the back of C3-PO's head. I don't think I ever realized how heavy my armor truly was until I was without it.

"Are you alright?" Finn asked as I approached them.

"I will be . . . eventually," I mumbled, crossed my arms, and took a spot around the golden droid to watch Babu work.

"Are you sure?" Rey pressed. "When's the last time you've eaten?"

"Uh . . ." It was probably not good if I had to think about it. "Just before I came to the Resistance base, for the funeral."

"That was like two days ago," Rey said.

I shrugged, my arms still crossed. "I've had water. I can normally fit a straw up underneath my helmet so I don't have to take it off for a drink. But I've been with you guys, and eating means you have to take off the helmet, so . . ." My voice trailed off.

"You didn't," Finn finished.

"Yeah."

"Are you cold?" Rey asked.

I looked down to my clothes. I was only wearing the light undershirt and pants that I wore beneath my armor. The tan scarf Poe had given me was wrapped around my neck.

"I'm fine. I'll put my armor back on anyway. Just . . . not the helmet." A pause. "Thank you, by the way," I began, "for healing me, Rey. I'd probably be dead in the sand were it not for you."

"Well, you really owe Poe the thanks," she mumbled.

My crossed arms tightened.

"He and Finn dragged you across the sand and back to the ship. I healed you, then we thought you were dead but, Poe didn't. He insisted that you weren't."

"Why would he do that?" I asked.

"Said he likes you," Finn blurted.

Rey stepped on his foot. "Poe said he thought he knew you from his home on Yavin 4. Like you two used to play together as kids or something."

"That's why he knew your name," Finn explained.

The phrase _it's a small world_ doesn't even begin to cut it. Yavin 4 was the size of a moon, a mere speck in all the galaxy, and yet I ended back up to Poe.

"Oh, I just had an idea there's something else we could try," 3-PO said suddenly. The droid powered down just as Babu flipped a switch.

Rey moved away, seemingly in thought.

"What is it?" I asked quietly.

"Somethings not right about all of this," she began. "I know where I've seen it: the ship he was on, Occhi's ship."

Finn now moved closer, concerned. "What?"

"The day my parents left . . . they were on _that_ ship," Rey said slowly.

"Are you sure?" Finn asked.

A bang sounded as Zorii and Poe came down the stairs.

"There's an incoming a destroyer," Zorii announced.

"We gotta go now," Poe added hastily. "Did we get it, Babu?"

"Yep, droid is ready!" the little creature announced.

He activated something making C3-PO rise from the chair, the droid's once yellow eyes now red.

3-PO spoke in a voice not of his own: it was deeper, darker, more unsettling.

_"The emeror's wayfinder is in the imperial vault at Delta 36, transient 936, bearing 3-2, on a moon in the Endor system. From the southern shore of, only this blade tells, only this blade tells."_

The droid's eyes went dark and he fell back to sit in his chair.

Babu cheered.

"The Endor system," Finn began. "Where the last war ended?"

The whole droid workshop began to shake.

Rey ran up the stairs to look outside. "Ren's destroyer," she announced.

"He's here?" Poe asked, moving closer to get a better look.

 _"Chewy?"_ Rey breathed.

"What about him?" Finn asked. "He's on Ren's ship . . . he's alive."


	13. Chapter 13

"What? How?" Poe yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"He must've been on a different transport," Rey said.

"Your friend is on that sky trash?" Zorii asked Poe.

"I guess he is," Poe said.

C3-PO rose from the table. "Might I introduce myself? I am C3-PO: human-cyborg relations, and you are?"

"Okay, that's going to be a problem," Poe huffed.

The little alien spoke up. "Hello, I Babu Frick," he said to the droid.

"No time for that, let's go!" said Rey.

I grabbed my bag of armor and began putting on various pieces as we went. All that was left in the bag when we exited the shop was my helmet.

"Where's my rifle?" I called to Poe.

"Back on the ship!"

"I need a blaster, something!" I said as we turned a corner.

"Poe!" Zorii called after us. She produced a small metal disk from her pocket, "Might get you on a capital ship. Go help your friend."

The lot of us stopped running and turned back to watch the exchange.

"Zorii, I don't think I can take this," said Poe.

"I don't care what you think," she said, shoving it into his palm.

The roaring of TIE fighters could be heard as the entered the planet's atmosphere.

"We have to _go_ ," Rey yelled.

"Come with us," Poe said to Zorii.

"Poe—" she urged him.

"Can I kiss you?"

 _"Go,"_ Zorii insisted through a laugh as she pushed him away.

We jumped back on our ship and crammed into the cockpit to see if the little metal disk would work.

Poe started up the control panel. "Medallion's good," he said.

I wanted to punch him in his smug face.

"Clear for entrance, hangar twelve," Poe said into the intercom.

He landed our ship within the star destroyer. "Kai, stay here and guard the ship," Poe said.

"No, I'm not staying, I'm coming with you all," I protested.

"Are you sure you're well enough to—"

I stepped on Poe's foot with my heavy boots. "That's for taking off my helmet."

I twisted my heel now further. "That's for Kijimi."

I wound up my fist as if I were about to punch him. Poe flinched. "I'm coming with you," I said firmly, taking up my rifle.

I stepped off the ship and shot two approaching stormtroopers, the rest of the group following after me.

"Which way?" Rey asked Finn.

"No idea, follow me!" he said, leading us into a hallway.

Two more stormtroopers came at us. "Drop your weapons!" one ordered.

Rey stepped forward. "It's okay that we're here," she said, waving her hand.

"It's okay that you're here," the stormtroopers repeated. They lowered their blasters.

"You're relieved that we're here," Rey said, waving her hand again.

"Thank goodness you're here," said one. "Welcome, guys," said the other.

 _"Does she do that to us?"_ Poe whispered to Finn.

"We're looking for a prisoner and his belongings," Rey said.

The stormtroopers pointed us in the right direction. We ran down the corridor.

"The cameras," I said. I shot out one then scanned the wall behind me.

Finn punched a passcode into the door lock and we were in.

Rey turned, sensing something. "The dagger is on this ship. We need it . . . I'll meet you back at the hangar.

"Rey—" Finn began.

"Let's get Chewy," I said, pressing forward.

We made it to the prisoner room and pulled Chewy from his restraints. He let out a growl of thanks.

"Of course, we came for you, Chewy," Poe said.

"Yeah, Rey's here. She's going to get the dagger," Finn said.

As we left the room, we were caught in a shootout. Stormtroopers seemed like they were coming from all sides. They had found us.

I leaned around a corner just far enough to take out two.

"Let's go! The ship is this way!" Finn said once we had shot down most.

"I am a trained sniper," I yelled as we ran. "This is not my cup of tea!"

"Try a blaster!" Poe said, tossing me one from a fallen stormtrooper.

I slung my rifle back over my shoulder. "We close?" I asked, firing the little weapon.

"Straight ahead!" Finn said.

We reached an intersection of halls.

 _"Halt!"_ yelled a stormtrooper.

Poe took a hit to the shoulder and slid to the floor in the center of the intersection.

I took a knee next to him and picked up his blaster, defending him. I fired my blaster at troopers down one hall and Poe's down the other.

It was too late. We were already surrounded.

"Drop your weapons!" ordered one trooper.

I thought maybe I could win. Twenty blasters were trained on me, Finn, Poe, and Chewy.

Reluctantly, I dropped my prized rifle.


	14. Chapter 14

Me, Poe, Finn, and Chewy were cuffed and brought to our feet at blaster point. Then, we were escorted down the long, hexagon-shaped halls of Ren's ship, illuminated by an eerie blue light.

Another man, ginger sporting a dark suit and displeased look brought up the rear of the party.

_"That's General Hugs,"_ Poe whispered over to me.

"No talking!" a stormtrooper ordered.

The troopers brought us to a dark room and made us face away from them. We were to be executed.

I could hear the charge of the blasters as the stormtroopers took aim.

"Actually," began a voice. It was Hugs. "I'd like to do this myself."

Poe leaned over to Finn and said, "What were you going to tell Rey before?"

"You still on that?" Finn responded.

"I'm sorry is this a bad time?" Poe retorted.

"Oh, it sorta is a bad time—"

"Kai," Poe began quietly, shushing Finn. "If we're about to die, I gotta tell you . . . I love you."

I could feel my face growing red. I wished it were covered by my helmet. I wanted to take his hand but we were handcuffed.

Before I could even think to respond, I realized Poe's lips were on mine. I could only lean in further, wishing to feel his arms around me. Poe smelled like machine grease and cologne.

Blaster shots sounded behind us.

We involuntarily flinched and ducked, but nothing had hit us.

As we turned around, the stormtroopers about to execute us lay on the ground, armor smoking.

Hugs held a blaster. "I'm the spy," he stated firmly.

 _"What!"_ Poe exclaimed.

"You?" Finn added.

I still had no idea who this guy was but apparently he was on our side.

"We don't have much time," said Hugs.

"I knew it," Poe said excitedly.

"No, you did not," I said.

Hugs pulled off our handcuffs hurriedly.

I took this opportunity to pull Poe into another kiss.

The moment was sweet bliss. I wished it could've lasted longer

Thinking he was out of my view, Finn rolled his eyes.

"C'mon!" yelled Hugs, taking us back through the hallways.

As we rounded a corner, we ran into BB-8 and C3-PO. The droid began handing out our confiscated weapons. My favorite rifle was back over my shoulder.

Hugs began punching a code into the wall. "I've shut down the impeders. We've got seconds!"

As the door to the ship bay opened, Poe and the droids ran through to the Falcon.

"Wait, wait," Hugs stopped me and Finn. "Blast me in the arm, quick."

"What?" Finn asked.

"Gimme that," I said, pulling the blaster from Finn's hand. I shot Hugs in the leg. "Why are you helping us?" I began, blaster still trained on him.

"I don't care if you win," said Hugs from the ground. "I need Kylo Ren to lose."

"Sounds like a personal problem," I said, throwing Finn's blaster back to him. We ran out to meet Poe on the Falcon.

"I cannot believe you did that!" Finn exclaimed.

"I like blasters," I mumbled, smiling.

"Not you," Finn began. "Poe! You just . . . kissed her!"

Poe shrugged sheepishly, powering up the ship. "We were about to die, man. I had to."

Chewy took his place as copilot and the Falcon took flight.

"It's about to get hairy!" Poe yelled. "Hold it tight!"

As we rose up to the ship bay above us, stormtroopers began firing on the ship.

"Finn, move fast!" I said.

Finn had gone down to the entrance ramp open in space. "Rey!" he called. "C'mon!"

I watched from the window as Rey made a running jump from the launch bay onto the ramp of the Falcon.

"We're good to go!" I called into the cockpit.

And with that, we were off.  
  



	15. Chapter 15

"I don't know why they're not following us, but I don't trust it," Poe said as we flew through hyperspace. 

Chewy relayed something.

"The landing gear's busted? How busted?" Poe sighed. "Brace yourselves!" he called to the back of the ship.

Our crash landing onto the little planet of Kef Bir was less than comfortable.

As the Falcon skidded to a stop, Poe let out a noise of pain. It was his arm where he had been hit by the stormtrooper's blaster.

"Poe, you need to attend to that," I said.

"I know, I know," he mumbled, annoyed at the state of the ship.

Poe removed his scarf and attempted to tie it around the wound but couldn't do so with one hand.

"Here, let me help," I said, taking the scarf from him. I rolled up Poe's shirt sleeve to a rather nasty looking wound then took up a canteen of water and cleaned his arm, wrapping the scarf around tightly.

I could feel Poe's eyes on me as he watched my hands tending to him. "Try not to move it around—" I had started to say when Poe began speaking at the same time.

"Back there—" he stopped. "Sorry, what were you going to say?"

"Oh, uh try not to move your arm around so much once I'm finished," I said. "Just until we can get proper dressings . . . What were you going to say?"

"It was nothing," Poe said quickly.

We sat in silence for a moment.

"No, it wasn't nothing," Poe continued. "I was going to say . . . Back there, you know, when we were about to die . . . I kissed you and then you kissed me and—was that just because we were about to die?" 

I finished wrapping his arm and put my hands in my lap.

"Do you want it to be?" I said at last.

"What?"

"Less complicated," I answered. "I just thought it looked like you and Zorii had a thing going—"

"No, that wasn't—it isn't," Poe sighed. "What I mean is, I like you. Like really like you, since before I even knew what love is. Back on Yavin 4, when we would play games and were partners in crime, I knew I wanted to have you in my life forever . . . then you disappeared and, I guess I forgot about that dream . . . But now," Poe took my hands in his, "we can be together. Maybe you don't want to and maybe I'm an idiot for thinking so and—"

I squeezed Poe's hands within his leather gloves. "Let's just . . . table this for a moment. Just until everything dies down a bit."

"Yeah . . . okay," he said softly, as if in thought.

I cupped my hand gently against Poe's cheek, feeling the rough patches of a beard coming in.

Finn entered the cockpit suddenly. 

I pulled my hand back.

"Hey, we're gonna go look at the ridge, see what we can see."

As the group of us exited the ship and crested the hill, we were met with a dark, tumultuous ocean crashing dangerously on the rocks below us. Far off in the distance, as if creating its own island, was a decrepit metal structure sitting still amongst the roaring waves. It was the remnants of the infamous Death Star.

"It's gonna take us years to find what we're looking for," Poe said, looking across the sea.

Rey produced the Sith blade from her bag, examining it. Then, she held it up horizontally, looking out to the edges of broken metal, stopping when the ridge matched to the groves of the blade. 

"The Wayfinder's there," she said.


	16. Chapter 16

Our excursion was interrupted by the sound of hooves galloping up behind us.

"Heads up," said Poe, turning around and raising his blaster.

I raised my rifle defensively.

A woman on horseback stopped before us in the tall yellow grass. "Rough landing?" she asked.

"I've seen worse," Poe said, blaster still raised.

"I've seen better," the woman countered. "Are you Resistance?"

"That depends," Poe responded.

"We've picked up a transmission from someone named Babu Frick," the woman said.

"Babu Frick, oh he's one of my oldest friends," C3-PO said.

Poe and I lowered our weapons slowly in realization.

"He said you'd come," she continued. The others on horseback shifted uneasily. "He said you were the last hope."

"We have to get to that wreck," Rey began. "There's something inside there we need."

"I can take you there by water," said the woman.

"Have you seen the water?" Finn butt in.

"Not now," the stranger explained, "too dangerous. We can go first light tomorrow."

"We can't wait that long," Rey pressed. "We don't have the time."

"Or the choice . . ." Poe countered. "Let's get that ship fixed." He started up the hill and I followed after him.

"Do you have any spare parts?" I asked throwing my rifle back over my shoulder.

"Some," the woman responded. "I'm Jannah."

"Poe," he introduced himself.

"Kai," I said after a moment. It was strange to no longer be just a number.

Back on the Falcon with replacement parts from Jannah, the lot of us got to work on repairs. Poe, Chewy, 3-PO, and I were in the cockpit working on the control panels. Rey and Finn were towards the rear helping Jannah bring in and install parts.

"What a dreadful situation," C3-PO began. "Is every day like this for you people? Madness."

"Did we ever find his volume control?" Poe called after pulling a screwdriver from his mouth.

I couldn't help but smile even though I was knee-deep in rewiring the landing gear.

"What about yours?" I mumbled, a smirk sliding across my lips.

"Watch it . . ." Poe grunted, a tool between his teeth.

BB-8 rolled into the cockpit beeping anxiously.

"What is it, buddy?" Poe asked, stooping down to the droid's level. "What do you mean, you 'haven't seen her'?"

Poe looked down the hall to Finn and shared a knowing, worried look. I grabbed the binoculars off the dashboard and tossed them to Finn.

As we exited the Falcon and reached the top of the ridge, Finn scanned the dark waters.

Angry with Rey's actions, he wordlessly passed the binoculars to Poe and turned back up the hill towards the ship.

"She took a skimmer?" Jannah asked.

Poe passed the binoculars to me and went after Finn. "What the hell was she thinking?" he cursed.

As I looked out into the tumultuous sea, Rey was riding on a rickey ship, barely managing to climb over waves ten times her size.

I turned and followed after Poe and Finn.

"Poe, we gotta go after her," Finn said.

"Get the Falcon fixed and get out there as fast as we can," Poe ordered.

"No," Finn pressed back. "We'll lose her."

"Look, she left us!" Poe argued. "What do you wanna do? Swim?"

"She's not herself," Finn began. "You have no idea what she's fighting."

Poe stopped and turned around suddenly. "And you do?" he asked harshly.

I put myself between them before one of them could swing a fist.

"Yeah. I do," Finn said. "And so does Leia."

 _"Stop,"_ I ordered.

"Well, I'm not Leia," Poe said, pressing against me.

Finn pulled the binoculars from my hand. "That's for damn sure," he finished then turned around back towards the water.

As soon as Finn reached the top of the hill and was out of earshot, I began, "Hey, hey, what was that?"

Poe wouldn't make eye contact.

"Poe, look at me," I said. "What're you doing?"

"I don't know!" he burst out.

I was taken aback.

"I just . . ." he took a deep breath, "am flying by the seat of my pants half the time. I don't know what I'm doing . . . Finn's right; I'm not Leia. She knows what to do, always."

He tried to turn and head back to the ship but I caught his arm.

"What?" he asked, anger still in his voice.

"Poe," I began softly. "You don't always have to know what you're doing. Hell—"

I leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I have no idea."


	17. Chapter 17

Poe smiled softly as my lips left his cheek.

"Whatda you say we get back to finish the repairs on the Falcon?" I asked, looking off to where Jannah and Finn were talking.

"Yeah," Poe said at last. "I'd like that."

As we turned back towards the ship, Jannah called from the top of the hill: "We're gonna try to take another skimmer!"

"Okay!" Poe called back. "We'll be finishing up the ship and will get you as soon as possible!"

As soon as we got back to the Falcon, Poe was all over the control panel, flipping every switch, testing every button. Finally, once we had gotten the landing gear to pick the ship up from the ditch, Chewy, Poe, and I went to work underneath.

Poe hummed a nonsensical tune, a screwdriver in his mouth half the time. I "sang" along, but the only lyrics I could think of were various forms of "Poe is an idiot, this is stupid, are we done yet?"

Chewy seemed to appreciate it.

Poe did not.

Finally, we were up in the air and flying over the dark waters.

Red and blue light flashed against the mist, illuminating the fog.

"Not again," Poe mumbled, flying in closer.

"It's that Ren guy, isn't it?" I asked. "What's his deal with Rey?"

Down below, a small figure quickly moved across a concrete structure emerging from the water. It was Rey and she was running straight for Ren's TIE.

"What's she doing?" Poe scolded. "The plan was to head back to Leia with the Wayfinder!"

"Maybe she has it?" I mumbled.

_Movie Marker: 1:23:25_

Rey started the TIE and took off, very much in the wrong direction.

Poe cursed under his breath.

Finn and Jannah had just arrived by skimmer only to watch Rey take off. With a sigh, Poe maneuvered the Falcon to allow Finn to board.

***

The flight back to the Resistance Base was entirely silent.

As we emerged from the Falcon back on the jungle-based planet, a woman came forward to talk to us.

"Poe, something's happened," she said.

"It can't wait—" Finn pushed passed her. "We've gotta see the General."

"She's gone," the woman said through tears.

I could only look to Poe who began tearing up as realization set in.

Chewy cried out and sank to the ground.

I felt so strange to not have known the General like they had, be grieved like they were. All I could do was offer a gentle hand or a patient hug.

_Movie Marker: 1:28:10_

When Poe and I entered the command center, we were met with more terrible news.

"Kajimi . . . How?" Poe began.

We had visited the planet less than a day ago and it was gone within an instant.

"A blast from a Star Destroyer," said a woman at the control panel. "A ship from the new Sith fleet. Out of the Unknowns."

"The Emperor sent a ship from Exegol," an operator explained. "Does that mean every ship in the fleet—"

"Has planet-killing weapons," Poe breathed, still troubled by the death of Leia and now his friend Zurii from Kajimi. "Of course they do. All of them. This is how he finishes it."

I realized the "he" Poe had been taking about was the infamous Palpatine.

"Listen," said another operator as she tuned the radio. "It's on every frequency."

A jumbled speech from a dark language met my ears.

"The Resistance is dead," I translated.

"The Sith flame will burn," continued the operator. "All worlds surrender or die. The Final Order begins."

My heart dropped. I turned to Poe for some answer, but it seemed the operator had a plan for him.

"Leia made you acting general," she told Poe. "What now?"

Poe took a deep breath and walked off to collect himself. He had been about to cry, I could see it in the way his eyebrows furrowed, the way his eyes slouched in worry.

I followed him at a distance, letting him have his space.

Poe stopped and sat down at the covered body of General Leia.

"I gotta tell you . . ." he began softly to her. "I don't really know . . . how to do this. What you did . . . I'm not ready."

"Neither were we," said a voice emerging from the shadows. It was the man we had met with on Pasaana, General Calrissian. "Luke, Han, Leia, me . . . Who's ever ready?"

"How'd you do it?" Poe began. "Defeat an empire with almost nothing."

"We had each other," the man explained. "That's how we won."

I moved up behind Poe and placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Stick together," Calrissian instructed, pointing to the two of us. "That's an order."


	18. Chapter 18

"I gotta talk to you about something," Poe began, meeting up with Finn. 

"I gotta talk to you about something," Finn echoed.

"I can't do this alone. I need you in command with me," Poe said.

"This droid has," Finn started, pointing down at the little robot called D-O. "Thank you. I appreciate that."

"General," Poe nodded.

"General," Finn repeated.

I rolled my eyes.

"This droid has a ton of information about Exegol," Finn continued.

"Wait, what? Cone-face?" Poe asked.

 _"I am D-O,"_ said the droid.

"He was going to Exegol with Ochi of Bestoon," Finn began.

"Why was he going there?" I butt in.

"To bring the little girl he was supposed to take from Jakku to the Emperor. He wanted her alive," Finn explained.

Poe let out a shocked breath.

"Well, don't just stand there!" I started. "Bring D-O to the command center."

***

_Movie Marker: 1:35:40_

"All the information you need for an airstrike on Exegol," Finn read the screen of data from D-O.

"Yeah, except how to get there," Poe began, holding his arm that had been shot. "Have you seen these atmo ratings? It's a mess out there."

"Magnetic corssfields, gravity wells, solar winds," I read. 

"How does a fleet even take off from there?" Poe wondered.

"Terribly sorry," C-3PO interrupted. "I'm afraid R-2's memory bank must be crossed with his logic receptors. He says he is receiving a transmission from Master Luke."

A small blip representing a ship appeared on screen.

"That's an old craft ID," Poe said. "That's Luke Skywalker's X-Wing."

"It's transmitting course marker signals," said 3PO, "on its way to the unknown reigons."

"It's Rey," Finn realized. "She's going to Exegol. She's showing us how to get there."

"Then we go together," Poe decided. 

Pilots began gathering at the command center as an announcement came over the PA. 

"As long as those Star Destroyers are on Exegol," Finn began, "we can hit them."

"Hit them how?" asked a pilot.

"They can't activate their shields until the leave the atmosphere," I explained.

"Which isn't easy on Exegol," Poe continued. "Ships that size need help taking off; nav can't tell which way is up out there."

"So how do the ships take off," asked another pilot.

"They use a signal from a navigation tower like this one," Poe said, clicking on a projection.

"Except they won't," Finn began. "Air team's gonna find the tower, ground team's gonna blast it."

"Once the tower's down, the fleet will be stuck in atmo for just ten minutes with no shields and no way out."

"We think hitting the cannons might egnite the main reactors," I said, shifting my weight uneasily. It was strange to be a leader and have all eyes on me while helmetless.

"That's our chance," Lando agreed. 

"Fighters and freighters can take out their cannons if there are enough of us," Finn said.

"We'd be no more than bugs to them," a pilot protested.

"That's where Lando and Chewie come in," said Finn. "They'll take the Falcon to the Core Systems. Send out a call for help to anybody listening." 

"We've got friends out there," Poe began. "They'll come if they know there's hope."

The pilots murmured worriedly amongst each other.

"They will," I assured them. 

"The First Order wins by making us think we're alone," Poe continued. "We're not alone. Good people will fight if we lead them."

"Leia never gave up, and neither will we," said Finn. "We're gonna show them we're not afraid."

"What our mothers and fathers fought for," Poe began, "we will not let die. Not today. Today we make our last stand. For the galaxy. For Leia. For everyone we've lost."

My mind jumped to Kaliana. She was the reason I had come to the Resistance base in the first place.

"They've taken enough of us," Finn pressed. "Now we take the war to them."

And with that, we began suiting up for battle.


	19. Chapter 19

"Poe!" Kai called after me. I had been running to get my flight suit on.

"Yea?" I said, slowing my pace.

I was again met with those ocean blue eyes of hers surrounded by beautiful fields of freckles.

"I think I know a way I can help," Kai began. "The Mandalorian, they rarely come out of the shadows, but I think this time, we may have an exception."

"What do you need to do?"

"All I need is my ship and your voice," she answered.

"My voice?" I started.

"You're the new voice of the Resistance, remember?"

I stopped in my tracks. Kai was right. And it was a helluva responsibility.

***

_Movie Marker: 1:39:39_

With our small fleet in the air, we began making the jumps following Rey's signal to Exegol.

The planet seemed to be held together by sheer clouded darkness, only ever illuminated by bolts of lightning.

With each blast of electricity, more and more Star Destroyers were revealed. There had to be hundreds, _no_ , thousands of them, all lined in neat, dangerous rows like eerily straight teeth.

"Look at that fleet," I breathed.

Green bolts from ground cannons began hardly seconds after our little fleet had arrived.

"Dammit!" I cursed, steering out of the way of them. "Welcome to Exegol."

"Watch your starboard, Wexley!" a pilot yelled over the intercom.

"Get to their altitude," I ordered. "They can't fire on us without hitting each other. Don't give up! Help is coming."

"Roger that, general," Kai's voice came through my headset.

"Poe, I see it," Finn now said. "I've got a visual on the tower."

"Incoming TIEs," warned a pilot.

"I see 'em," I said, veering out of their path.

"The navigation tower's been deactivated," Kai relayed.

"What?" Finn began. "Those ships need that signal. It's gotta be coming from somewhere."

"They've figured out what we're doing," I realized. "Call off the ground invasion!"

"Wait . . ." Finn said. "The nav signal's coming from that command ship. That's our drop zone."

"You wanna launch a ground invasion on a Star Destroyer?" Kai asked in confusion.

"I don't want to, but we can't take out that ship's nav system from the air. Give us cover. We gotta keep that fleet there till help arrives," Finn ordered.

"You heard the general!" I called over the intercom. "All wings, cover that lander!"

The engines of every Star Destroyer were egnited, burning a bright blue fire.

"Those thrusters are hot," I warned. "How we doin'?"

"We're gonna blow out way in and take out that nav tower!" Finn called.

The tower jutting out on the Star Destoryer came crashing down.

"Nice once, Finn!" I called. "Nav signal's down but not for long!"

"Still no _Falcon_ or backup," one pilot said.

R2-D2 chirped within the back of my X-Wing. I flipped up my headset mic to keep the others from hearing. "I don't know R2. Maybe nobody else is coming."

"What can we do, general?" a pilot called desperately.

I turned my mic back on. "We gotta hit them ourselves," I decided.

"What can we do against these things?" asked another.

"Just stay alive!" I ordered.

As seconds ticked ever so slowly by, X-Wings began blowing up around me. I watched helplessly as I knew many of my friends wouldn't be returning home. I only hoped Kai could out-maneuver the blasters.

"Snap they're on your tail!" I warned. "No, no, no! Snap! Snap!" He was gone right in front of my eyes.

"Alpha Three is down."

"They're on my tail, they're everywhere!"

"Delta leader's hit!"

"Losing altitude!"

Desperate cries reached my intercom.

"General, what's our next move?"

"Poe, what now?" Kai's voice came through.

"My friends . . . I'm sorry," was all I could say. "I thought we had a shot. But there's just too many of them."

"But there are more of us, Poe," a new voice said in my headset. "There are more of _us."_

"Lando . . ." I realized.

There before me was thousands of various ships, some still blipping in from hyperspace. My jaw involuntarily dropped.

"Look at this . . . _Look at this!"_ I breathed in awe.

There was still hope yet.


	20. Chapter 20

_Movie Marker: 1:54:37_

"Hit those underbelly cannons!" I ordered. "Every one we knock out is a world saved."

Zipping across Exegol with the new fleet of ships, we took out a whole Star Destoryer.

 _"So long, sky-trash,"_ said a familiar voice.

"Who's that flyer?" I thought aloud.

"Take a guess, spice runner," the voice responded.

"Ha!" I laughed. "Zorii, you made it!"

It seemed the battle was finally making a turnaround. Then, an enormous blast of electricity came rocketing up from the ground, targeting every resistance ship, paralyzing us in mid-air.

"R-2! The systems are failing!" I realized. "Does anyone copy?" My X-Wing began spiraling downward.

All ships around me were doing the same. After anxious seconds of falling towards the ground, the lightening subsided and I regained control of my ship once more.

I only hoped nobody had been flying close to the ground.

"Poe, the command ship!" a pilot realized.

It had been destroyed

"Their fleet is stuck here!" I said in triumph. "They're toast! C'mon, let's go!"

The Star Destroyer began to take a nosedive.

"Finn, Kai, you seeing this?" I smiled.

"Finn didn't board the lander," said my intercom.

My heart sank. "They're still on that command ship?"

The one that was currently falling out of the sky.

"I see them!" Two figures—Finn and Jannah—were clinging to the nearly vertical surface of the ship. "I'm going to get them."

"General, you won't make it," said a pilot.

"Trust me, I'm fast," I assured them.

"Not as fast as this ship," Lando's voice came through. The Falcon shot ahead of me. Jannah and Finn jumped onto the roof of the Falcon then slid safely inside.

I breathed out a sigh of relief then caught spit in my throat at the realization that Kai and her ship was still out there.

"Kai, do you read me?" I said into my mic.

No response.

Trying not to panic, I reasoned that maybe her intercom had been damaged.

I zipped through the various ships, searching for Kai's. It wasn't there.

Now despairing, I scanned the ground of the planet amongst the rubble of fallen Star Destroyers she so easily could have been crushed under.

Then, I spotted her. A Mandalorian outside of Kai's ship, standing over a body.

I cursed in a panic realizing that Kai was the body, not the Mandalorian.

I landed my X-Wing and got out quickly, taking a blaster with me. I had no idea what the Mandalorian code said about desertion or what they would do to former members.

The Mandalorian knelt down over the body.

"Stop!" I yelled, taking aim. My wrapped arm still hurt as I extended it. "Don't touch her!" I ordered.

The Mandalorian turned to me, slowly rising from its stooped position.

"Who are you and what do you want with her?" I demanded, moving closer.

"An old friend," they answered, "called 34. 42 saved my life, now I saved hers."

Kai's ship was on fire. The Mandalorian must have pulled her from it.

"That's it?" I pressed.

"That's it," 34 assured me.

I lowered my blaster.   
"It's not her fault she had to leave," I said at last. "She got shot, we had to remove her helmet to heal her. We didn't kn—"

"It's okay," the Mandalorian interrupted. "I'm . . . glad I finally got to see her face." 34 paused in thought. "Take care of her, for me, Poe," they said.

The Mandalorian knew my name. I realized Kai must've told stories of our time as kids on Yavin-4.

"I-I will," I said. "That's a promise."

"Tell her 34 says goodbye," they added, "and that I hope you'll be happy, genuinely."

I nodded and scooped up an unconscious Kai to bring her back to my X-Wing.

"Thank you," I said. "She means a lot to me."

The Mandalorian nodded once and turned back towards their ship, disappearing into the thick fog of Exegol.


	21. Chapter 21

Kai's POV

As I came to consciousness, I felt that I rested in strong arms, my back against their chest.

The familiar sound of a ship in air reached my ears.

I cracked my eyes open, feeling the soreness of my muscles.

The arms I rested in were clad in orange. I realized it was a Resistance pilot which brought me comfort.

The pilot let out a long sigh, their breath tickling the hair on my head.

They began humming the same song I had heard while fixing the Falcon's landing gear on Kef Bir.

It was Poe.

I let out a hoarse hum along with him.

He stopped. "How you doing, Kai?" Poe said softly.

I nestled my cheek into his shoulder in response.

"Your ship crashed when the lightening blast hit everyone," he explained softly. "But we won. We did it, Kai. We won." I could feel him smiling as he said it.

"Rey's okay, Finn?" I said.

"Yea, they're all okay," Poe said, the tones of his voice vibrating on my back as I rested on his chest in the cramped X-Wing.

"You know," he began. "You're lucky you're small. I hardly had to move my seat back at all to fit you in here." Poe laughed softly, taking in another breath. "We're on our way home now. Just hang on a little longer. I'll get you to the Med Bay as soon as we're back."

I nodded softly, letting my eyes fall closed again.

"I wasn't the one who saved you," Poe began.

My head picked up slightly, confused.

"It was another Mandalorian," he continued, "called 34. Said that they were glad to finally see your face. And that they hope you are happy, genuinely. Also said to tell you they were saying goodbye, that they understood why you had to leave the Mandalorian."

A small tear slipped down my cheek. 34 and I had been partners. I wished I could've heard their voice, heard them say goodbye.

As I took a deep breath, I winced in pain.

"What's wrong?" Poe asked quickly.

"Bruised ribs, something like that," I mumbled.

"That's gotta hurt," Poe said, pulling off his helmet.

I looked up to his scruffy chin. His hair was shining with sweat and his long eyelashes seemed bent with stress.

He ran a gloved hand over his head, seemingly relieved the battle was over.

Poe's brown eyes flitted down to me then quickly back up to the controls of the ship.

"Still hanging on?" he asked quietly.

I moved my hand overtop of his as it rested on the wheel, breathing in the scent on his vest: machine grease and cologne mixed with stress sweat and leather.

"Kai?" Poe asked again, now taking my hand in his.

"I love you," I said, barely above a whisper. As the words left my mouth, I could feel my cheeks grow pink.

Poe leaned down and kissed the top of my head, gently squeezing my hand.

"I know."

"You're such and idiot," I whispered.

"That too," Poe responded, smiling down at me.

He leaned down, bringing his face closer, allowing me to see every scratch and scar.

I wanted to run my hand over his jaw but couldn't find the strength to lift up my arm.

Poe pressed his forehead to mine, his breath picking up and his brown eyes open just enough to see my lips.

I closed the gap, letting my eyes shut and my lips to rest on his.

Poe's arms wrapped me in closer as he held me delicately, still mindful of my injuries.

I pulled away from the kiss slowly, feeling a blush roll across my cheeks.

Poe only smiled softly, brushing a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

"Took you long enough," he said.

"I know."


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: TW--death and blood. Dear Reader, this is a sad chapter; if you want a happy ending, do not read on—simply imagine a better future.

\- H.   
  
  


As I landed my X-Wing, I could see the Resistance Base was alive with grateful smiles and laughter. The sounds of excitement was muffled behind the walls of my ship.

Kai shifted limply in my lap with the force of the landing. She looked like she wasn't doing too hot.

Finn ran up to the side of my X-Wing, a grin across his lips. His smile slid away quickly as he saw Kai.

"Help me get her out," I said, throwing open the top hatch.

Finn grabbed Kai by under her arms and pulled. I stood now and helped, unbuckling myself.

Kai's hands were cold . . . too cold.

We lowered her onto the concrete of the landing pad.

As Finn looked at me, his jaw went slack in shock.

"What?" I asked, looking down at my orange jumpsuit. The fabric was now more of a crimson. My hands were caked with red.

 _"Medic!"_ Finn yelled. "Are you okay? Poe?"

"It's not mine," I could barely say.

As panic set in, I could only curse and wipe the blood from my hands. "Shit, shit, _shit!"_

I knelt down next to Kai. I hadn't even realized she'd been bleeding.

"Where's Rey?" I asked quickly. "She can do something, right? Right!"

"I don't know!" Finn shot back.

The crowd's cheers in the immediate vicinity were dying down as they realized what was happening around them.

A woman with a medical box ran over.

I stood up quickly, watching.

The once-revelers became hushed to allow the medic to focus. Still in other parts of the base, the celebration was continuing.

The medic removed the top layer of Kai's clothes and put a stethoscope to her chest. She moved it to a different location on her chest, then to another, searching. The medic bounced around different points now, more desperate to find a pulse.

Finally, she just stopped. She put her stethoscope aside and closed the med kit. The medic turned over her shoulder to look at me and simply shook her head.

"No . . ." I breathed. "No, she was fine just a few minutes ago. How—she can't be, there's no way!" I protested.

"Poe—" Finn stopped me.

"Excessive blood loss," the medic answered simply.

She had been bleeding from a large wound on her back. I hadn't noticed. It was my fault. I should have looked her over more closely before leaving Exegol.

I dropped to my knees at her side.

"But it's gonna be just like the last time, right?" I began, touching Kai's unmoving hand. "Rey'll get here and she'll fix it, just like last time. Just like last time . . ."

I looked up to see Rey appear in the crowd, her hand over her mouth.

"You can fix it, right?" I said, my face lighting up with hope.

Rey didn't answer.

"Right?" I pressed. "Please, Rey. Say you can."

"I-I can't," Rey said at last. "Not from the dead . . . no . . . Poe—" Tears were forming in her eyes and mine.

My breath caught in my throat as I squeezed Kai's hand, desperately hoping for her to squeeze back.

"If I could save her, I would," Rey said softly, her voice hoarse as she tried to keep from crying. "You know that."

I let out a soft sob, then another, tears rolling down my cheeks and onto Kai's clothes, darkening spots upon the fabric.

"Please . . ." I breathed. "I didn't . . . I never got to say goodbye."

People brought over a stretcher and placed it next to Kai, waiting for me to let go of her hand.

"We have to move her," the medic said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Just, let me say goodbye . . . please, just this," my voice trailed off. I leaned down and took Kai's face in my hands, kissing her forehead softly as if not to wake her.

 _"I love you,"_ I whispered so only she could hear.

The medics moved her onto the stretcher and took her away.

"We'll have a funeral," Finn said to me, pulling me to my feet.

I could hear the celebrations stop as the medics moved through the crowd.

I shoved my face into Finn's shoulder to keep the world from seeing me cry. He wrapped his arms around me, then Rey did the same.

The First Order had been dismantled . . . and so had my hopes of a future with Kai in a peaceful world.

She was gone, for real this time.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her.

Sometimes Rey talks about Force Ghosts and how Kai might visit me as one someday. But I don't want her to. I think it would make it worse, seeing her like that.

This journal I've been keeping has helped deal with her loss some.

Often, I like to imagine her sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me write. I think if she were a ghost she'd do that.

I miss her a lot.

Sometimes I think about what would happen if I died on a mission. Would I see her then? I'd like to think so, but I know I can't just crash my ship. I have to be a general with Finn. I have to be a leader no matter how hard it gets sometimes. I have to protect my fleet so more people don't end up like Kai.

She died for a good cause, I keep telling myself. Other times I think how it's my fault I pulled her into the mess. But then I wouldn't have spent time with her at all, never would have gotten a chance to love her.

I do not like to end such entries so somberly, but I must, because that is the nature of stories: they end. And those friends we have made, and those friends we have loved, we do right by their memory by closing the book and letting them live forever between the covers.

And I know for certain, somewhere in time Kai is waiting for me. And she is smiling.

THE END


End file.
